Things women say that, generally, aren’t true..

There are a few things that I’ve noticed that women (other than my wife, who is probably the most honest female on the planet) may say that, generally, on closer inspection turn out to be less than honest. These include:

1) “I’ve never really been very interested in dessert.”
2) “I went out today not really caring how I looked.”
3) “I’ve never really thought that (insert their favorite actor) was really attractive. I just like them as an actor.”
4) “It takes a lot to make me angry.”
5) (To a man) “Of course I’d rather talk to you than watch ‘Grey’s Anatomy’.” (Usually followed by 60 minutes of silence.)
6) “I’m never buying another pair of shoes again.”
7) “I don’t really pay attention to what other people wear to church.”
8 ) “Sure, a man can be attractive with grey hair!”
9) “I have the only pocketbook I’ll ever need.”
10) “I really want my husband/boyfriend to feel free to share their inner feelings with me.”


An open letter to the NFL

Dear NFL:

What the hell were you and the Super Bowl committee thinking when you organized this year’s Super Bowl? I mean, it was only the 45th anniversary of the darn thing and even I had cake and a present on my 45th birthday.

If there had not been at least a bit of an interesting second half then the whole thing would have been the most colossal waste of time since the 2008 Republican National Convention. And that’s saying a lot since I vote Republican. You get Christina Agulara to sing the National Anthem. Have the folks at sporting events not yet learned that it is the kiss of death to have a big-time celebrity or recording star sing the National Anthem? I mean, the thing has only been around for two hundred years and the words haven’t changed but put someone who folks that can’t even remember words without a teleprompter and a lip-sync track out there and they can slaughter that bad-boy in a minute.

Then the half-time show. Or at least that thing they called a half-time show. I have no idea who told the group of people known as The Black Eyed Peas (which completely ruins one of my favorite foods) that they were talented and entertaining but I had more fun watching the last two surviving members of The Who run around the stage the other year than whatever that production was. And I have absolutely no idea who Usher is. Nor do I care to find out based on his part of the show.

Here’s a hint: The grown ups are the ones that spend the money on your games, tickets and sponsors. If you’re going to make a production at least put someone out there that is known by the general public over the age of 35.

Finally, I hope that the money that the commercial sponsors spent on air time fills both yours and the network’s coffers because I can’t even recall one good commercial out of the lot. Movie trailers don’t count because I personally can’t wait for the “Thor”, “Captain America” and “Pirates of the Caribbean” to come out this year.

Lastly, who picked out the folks going out for the coin toss? Deion Sanders? Really? Really? Of all the great players in the history of the NFL one of the people sent out for the coin toss was one of the biggest self-promoting shills in the history of football. A commentator who talked trash about a current player for not going on the field and ending his career by completely tearing up his knee?

Here’s hoping next year the event lives up to it’s hype. And that the Panthers are part of it. One can dream, can’t they?