Top 10 things about women men should not try to figure out…

10 – Their shoes. For some reason, womens’ dress shoes are not designed for warmth, comfort and, apparently, only go with one outfit, requiring a closet the size of a warehouse.

9- Pocketbooks. These are not just women’s accessories. They are portals to another dimension because there is no way all the contents they take out would fit. Men should never look in a woman’s purse. There are things in there not meant for men’s eyes.

8 – Car terminology. Women can remember the time and date they met you, their best friend’s mother’s middle name and anything wrong a man ever did. But have them take their car to the shop and then ask what the mechanic said was wrong with it and you get “Something that moves down in there or something.”

7 – Self-perception. No matter how you answer a question that a woman asks about how they look the answer will sound to them like you said their butt was big.

6 – Razors. Three women. Nine razors in the shower. I just don’t want to know.

5 – Making statements in the place of questions. “I guess I’ll take the trash out.” Translation: “Are you going to take the trash out, you worthless life-form you?”

4 – Shampoo. Apparently, each day of the week requires a different shampoo and conditioner.

3 – Mood swings. It’s pretty bad when you wake up in the morning and ask “And who am I talking with today?”

2 – Crying. Something a man does that makes a woman cry makes her upset. Watching a movie that makes her cry makes her feel better.

1 – Look at the men on movies and in women’s magazines that they think are sexy. Then look at yourself in the mirror. Why is she still hanging around with you?

Some things are better off left a mystery.

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