Why I Hate Valentines Day

I know that there are a lot of men (and some women) out there that share my complete and utter dislike for the “holiday” known as “St. Valentine’s Day”. There are a multitude of reasons that I could give to wish that I could stay at home until all the stupid Cupid’s arrows, red hearts and streamers are taken down and the Easter junk goes up. Ranting about some of the stuff that gets hawked for Easter is a completely different subject for later. So, I will limit this diatribe to a couple of points.
First, there’s nothing to link the Roman Catholic feast of St. Valentine to anything having to do with romance, chocolate candy and red Victoria’s Secret outfits (not that there’s anything wrong with women in red Victoria’s Secret outfits). There’s a reason for a Christmas, Easter, and Thanksgiving…heck even Halloween has a basis in the eve before All Saint’s Day. We don’t get the day off and nothing gets celebrated so what the heck is the point?
Another thing is that many of us that were not popular as children (like me) still carry around the horrible memories of Valentine’s Day as a kid. The fact that people get upset about Christmas in schools and then don’t care about this psychological torture is yet another reason that I don’t have a lot of faith in humanity. Popular kids got lots of nice valentines, like the kinds that had a lollipop attached to it. Kids that “liked” each other made hearts with lace during craft times for mom and their friends. Unpopular kids got the cheap dime store valentines with stupid cartoon characters on them that were made in some foreign sweat shop without copywrite approval. Popular kids got stuff and their friends laughed with them. Unpopular kids like me had some jackass come up, drop the card on my desk like it had “cooties” and said “I only got this for you because I HAD to.” Or “because they make us give them to EVERYBODY.” As an unpopular kid this immediately let you know that you could never, ever be your true self and have anyone like you.
As you got older, it only got worse. If you were a girl then some guy dumped you ahead of Valentines and then made up before Easter just so they wouldn’t have to get you anything. If you were a guy then most of the time what you could afford didn’t live up to the girl’s expectations or she took it and then immediately broke up with you afterwards to go out with the guy that dumped his girlfriend before Valentines. Or there is the guy who keeps several girls out there and gets a bulk discount on cards and candy each year along with the girl that had to clear out a shelf to put all the candy and stuffed animals from the idiots that she keeps stringing along.
For married couples, it’s much easier to make Valentines a bit of fun but I still don’t understand why some woman (or man) would get upset at a spouse for not going into debt just because the calendar hits February 14? Did you not go out to eat somewhere during the rest of the year? Do they only sell chocolate candy after Christmas? Is there some magical reason that lingerie and “fun stuff” gets used only on one night? If so then it’s no wonder the divorce rate is so high in the United States today. My wife prefers her flowers to be alive and in a garden where they can be enjoyed rather than slowly dying in a vase. And, gentlemen, if you have not already bought your wives jewelry on birthdays, Christmas and anniversaries then you have shopped way too hard.
“But isn’t Valentine’s romantic?” Sure, about as much as oral surgery is relaxing. There is no way in hell that anyone can be stressed out, anxious, broke, rushed and pressured and still “have fun and be romantic.” That’s like taking a vacation by going to Marine boot camp. I wonder some time what kind of fantasy world so many folks live in that they can buy into the movies and TV version of what love is supposed to be.
So tonight I will go home and cook dinner for my wife just because I want to, not because the Hallmark folks say so. And when 2/14 rolls around I will continue to do what I do for the people I love and ignore all the wasted glitter. And to all the people that told me that they “had” to give me a valentine I hope that you grew up a bit somewhere along the way for your sake.

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